The Secret Lives of Wives By: Iris Krasnow – A Book Review

Sometime around the fall of 2011 (who can believe it is already 2012), I started hearing about this book and I was excited to read it. After all, who doesn’t want to peer into the closets, kitchens, and bedrooms of other women? Most of us are voyeuristic and we tend to measure ourselves against each other – that is what will make this a successful book.

In the book you will read first hand personal accountings of the ups and downs of the lives and marriages of vintage wives – those women married 20 years and longer – including the author’s.

As a vintage wife myself, I was happy to read and learn that I am not the only woman that has ever gone through the various stages of marriage. I am not the only woman who has awakened beside a man I barely recognize and asked myself – WTF?! Only to run into his arms at the end of the day – happy and in love.   I am not the only women who has ever thougth – there has got to be more!

I was motivated by these women’s stories of self discovery and personal enrichment to continue my evolution – my journey to becoming a more me me. Virtually all of the women profiled in these pages have found a way of nurturing themselves and their own passions separate from their marriage, which has helped secure the stability of the partnerships.

My only complaint is that the great majority of the women profiled is married to highly successful men and/or is highly successful themselves. They have the financial where-with-all to afford summers in Italy or California. I would like to have read more stories of average women – those that are not as financially fortunate. I qualify my description of  fortune because, as you will learn when you read the book, financial position DOES NOT shelter you from the bad things that happen in life and no matter how well off you are, those things still hurt.

Although it is obvious the target audience for the book is middle-aged, married women, I think any woman who is married or contemplating getting married should read this book. Nowhere, not even in marriage counseling, are they going to get the raw truth about what it takes to keep a marriage going and what really happens in a long term partnership.

Ladies, run out to buy this book! Read these stories before marching down the isle.  Red them before packing your bags and slamming the door on your marriage.  Read these stories before spending the night with the gorgeous guy you met at the convention. Read this book so that you will know you are no alone. Read this book!

Anyone who ever thought they knew what marriage was must read this book.

To all of my friends in same sex relationships – I would sincerely love to hear from you whether or not a marriage between women follows the same rocky path as those between a man and a woman.  Write me and let me know.


The following is a Amazon book description:

A bestselling, groundbreaking author investigates successful long term marriages, interviewing wives and their uncensored strategies for staying married.

America’s high divorce rate is well known. But little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that are lasting longer than we ever thought possible. What’s the secret? To find out, bestselling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than 200 wives whose marriages have survived for 15 to 70 years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: They have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking choices on how to keep their marital vows, “till death do us part,” as Krasnow says, “without killing someone first.” In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow’s cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers separately from their partners. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question “Who am I apart from my marriage?” Krasnow’s goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other. A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read!

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